In dealing with English financial institutions much administration needs to be handled due to comprehensive money-laundering-laws - particularly when one is engaged in international trade. I recently had some assets temporarily frozen by a UK company as my identity-profile with them apparently was not complete.
The English percieve Identity-cards as an infringement of personal integrity - and perhaps rightly so, considering how the government kept losing vast amounts of sensitive data in the post - and even on public transport - during the Brown administration.
As there are no Identity cards, but still plenty of regulation that requires identification, you are generally required to bring a set of utility bills, bank statements and various other letters and paperwork with you to any dealings with banks, goverment or companies.
This is not only impractical, it is also quite a flawed method of establishing a persons identity as it is comparatively easy to forge statements of this kind. For those of us who insist on perfect records of any and all transactions, it is also cumbersome as these statements sometimes take a long time to obtain and deliver.
A change of address might require new papers to be handed in to prove that you indeed are the same person at the new address (a gas bill being the ultimate was of proving this, apparently) - but to get the new papers you need to get in touch with suppliers to have the address updated first. This requires a written letter (in which you just give the new address and sign it - as if this would somehow be a superior record of proof compared to an email). Once they have the written letter in hand, your address is updated. You must then wait for your next bill to arrive - which it might or might not do as addresses are often mistyped and your bills might never reach you. You may confirm a wrongly entered address by phone, but a new written letter will be required to amend it - and you will need to wait for a new bill to arrive. Once the bill, this pinnacle of identity-proof, is in your hand, you can go ahead and make physical photo-copies of it and begin distributing it via post to the relevant institutions. You are usually asked to send at least one physical, paper-bill and a paper bank statement along with photocopies of your passport or driver's licence.
Given I had gotten used to this order of things, I was dreading the process of de-frosting my assets with said company - but as it happened I was in Sweden at the time and I was told a swedish bank statement and national ID would be sufficient to cover their needs (nota bene - they do recognise ID cards, they just don't like to use them within the UK. To me, it is sort of like the Amish: They know telephones exist and successfully have made life easier for millions of people, they just choose to ignore them.)
I needed to update my address slip with my Swedish bank and have them produce a bank statement with the new address on it. I pictured signing letters going back and forth, but as I walked into my Swedish bank office this is what transpired:
-I'd like to update my address information please. How do we go about
getting this process started?
-ID?
I presented my ID-card.
-New address?
I stated the address.
-Allright, all done. Would you like a statement too?
-Yes, how soon can you post it?
-Post? I can email it to you now or send it to your phone. Do you mean
you want a printout?
-Yes please!
-There you go. Have a nice day!
It is hard to describe the exhilirated satisfaction I felt from the civilised and expedient production of this piece of paper - as this process will be completely normal and expected for Swedes - but for a long-term resident of the UK this is mind blowing efficiency. Over the years I have been forced into disputes with almost every branch of the general infra-structure of the UK. Telecommunication-companies, Mobile phone companies, Travel companies, Insurance companies, The Passport authority, the HMRC and our local Council. This is not because of some sort of masochistic belligerence on my part, but a process the English take for granted: to get your phone connected, you will need to allocate a few days to keep the providers from doing all the wrong things. To prevent your mail from suddenly being delivered to a random sewer after a change of address, expect to spend a week on the phone with a call centre sprawling the entirety of the Indian subcontinent. Et cetera.
During my early years in London, I would confused and dismayed bring up these experiences with my English friends as I naively assumed I might be the victim of the worst customer service conspiracy in the western world - only to be met with a laconic "yes, it can be a real nightmare."
We need to understand that we are not talking about the weather or the laws of physics here - these are mechanisms for human interaction - processes devised and implemented to solve certain normal and commonplace problems. If the process does not work, it needs to be evaluated and changed so that performance and efficiency is improved. Regrettably the processes rarely change or improve, although the whole of the system is littered with annoying inspections and customer surveys.
Instead of long and boring recapitulations of the dozens of absurd interactions of this kind I have had, I will present a light-hearted piece of fiction which I think may serve as a juxtaposition of my experiences in general. This is what I think might be the English equivalent of the above related interaction with the bank:
-I'd like to update my address information please. How do we go about
getting this process started?
-What information?
-My address, the one you send my statements to?
-Have you looked at our website? I think you do it on there.
-Can't we just do it now?
-Wait please, I need to speak to someone. (Brings manager)
-How can I help you Sir? (manager)
-He wants to change his bank details right now. (clerk)
-I'd like to update my address information please. How do we go about getting this process started? (me)
-If you go to www.thebank.com and log in, under My Pages you can request a form that you print out and post to us.
-Can't we just do it now?
-Wait a moment Sir (manager goes to the back. Clerk smiles and looks bored)
Brings another manager.
-He wants to update his details here in the office (manager 1)
-Do you have the detail amendment form? (manager 2)
-No, but if you bring it I will be happy to fill it out. (me)
-He's not logged on to the website (clerk)
-I'll get you the form printed out Sir (manager 1 walks to the back)
-Do you have two separate forms of ID with you? (manager 2)
-I have a passport, a bank statement and a swedish national ID.
-I can't accept the bank statement as that is what we are changing. Do you have any other proof of address with you?
-Of course, I always carry 5 years of book-keeping records with me in
a trolley. No, I do not!
Manager 1 returns with the form.
-Take this home (manager 2 hands over form), fill it out and make
copies of your gasbill and passport and post them to us. Would you
like me to give you the address - it's on our website...
-I'll print it out for you now, Sir (clerk prints homepage without address)
-You can also find the form on our website, if you go to www.thebank.com and log in, under My Pages there is a section where you can print it out. (manager 2)
-How long will it take to update the details? I need a bank statement with the new address on it. (me)
-I can't say, usually 5 to 7 business days. Do you need a bank statement printout? That will be £10 for each extra statement. I can make one for you now if you'd like.
-With the new address? (me)
-The statement will have whatever is currently in our system.
-How will I know when my details are updated in the system?
-When you get your next bank statement it should be on there.
-Try to work with me here. I need this to happen as soon as possible. If I post the forms you request, that will take 3 days, then you need 5 to 7 days for processing, which pushes us into next month, which means the next statement will reach me around six weeks from now. Can we get this done quicker?
-One moment Sir (manager 1 is irritated while manager 2 goes on the phone. The clerk looks uncomfortable)
-We can arrange a meeting with a bank manager for next week, you can then bring the paperwork and pay the fee for a printout, but we have to send it in the post as the system takes up to 36 hours to reflect changes to your details. There will be a 75p postage fee too. Shall I go ahead and set up this meeting?
-No, that is fine, I will just kill myself instead, thank you.
Sweden:
+ Efficient
+ Modern
-Big brother really is watching
UK:
- Staggeringly inefficient
- Backwards
+ Nigh on impossible for big brother to do anything except look at his CCTVs.
Winner:
A massive victory for Sweden which makes the UK feel like a juvenile kafka-esque nightmare.
I am at this very moment enduring the exact fiasco you describe here. Good Grief! After years in Sweden I moved to the UK and am still dumbfounded at how inefficient it is in comparison to Sweden.
ReplyDeleteUpon arrival to the UK I went to a bank to open an account. I rang in advance and was told to bring ID. I brought my Swedish ID and had a meeting that took well over an hour, only to be told I cant open an account. I had passport, ID, Swedish bank statements - generally anything a new arrival might have, but because I had no gas bill I couldn't open an account...not even a basic current account with no line of credit.
It's now been weeks and I am still waiting for a gas bill, after paying council tax and adding my name to the register.
When I first got to Sweden I do remember I was in a similar nightmare, so Sweden itself is not entirely faultless. In Sweden, holding a foreign passport is not accepted as identification. So I couldn't get a personnummer because I had no ID and I couldnt get an ID because banks give out IDs...and no way they'd let me open an account without a personnummmer..so I had the exact same catch-22 there as I now do in the UK.
Having done this before, I now accept it as one would entropy, it is part of the reality of having a system.